Strange Conversations
by SlytherAway
Summary: Oneshot. Based on Doomspark's Page 394 Challenge. Strange conversations abound: Hermione and Severus Hermione, Severus, Nickola, and Jordan and Harry and Draco. What's your favorite kind of cell?


Disclaimer: Not mine, not even the idea. Doesn't that suck?

A/N: This is based on Doomspark's Page 394 Challenge. Yeah, credit is at the end, but it's here too. Go Doomspark! Challenge rules are found at the end.

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Strange Conversations

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"Tell me about your family, Severus," said the relaxing witch. "I do like to hear your stories."

"I believe it is my voice you like, as all my stories are full of deceit and despair," replied the wizard, looking up from his newspaper.

She smile at him, and said, "But what about the one about your half-sister who..."

"Although the story is instructive, it is almost completely untrue," he interrupted. "She was not my half-sister, rather we were not related at all. I was my father's love child, and she was my father's wife's love child. Yet she did invent that healing charm. I would be tempted to claim her as family were she not so frivolous."

"Tell me a story about your father," she demanded. "How did he end up married to your mum?"

"He was a disgrace to the ancient name. The family married him off as soon as it was half-decent and hoped that would be the end of it. Unfortunately, it wasn't. Hermione, tell me more about your Muggle science. What are your favorite type of...cells?"

"Hmmm..." She considered her options. "Bone marrow cells, which include the _stem cells _that give rise to all the cells of the blood and immune system, are prime candidates. But I can't really say. White blood cells are so fascinating!"

There was a sudden knock at the door. Hermione stood up to answer it, and was joined at the threshold by her husband. "Who is it?" she called cautiously. The war may be over, but stray Death Eaters still tried to rid themselves of their "embarrasment", Severus Snape, who had ensured the demise of their leader.

"Nicki and Jorda, Mum. Let us in."

"Why should we?" demanded Severus, as the confirmation required.

"Because we are your own flesh and blood. Turn us away and we will slaughter ourselves to bring you pain."

Severus quickly opened the door, jerked in the two visitors, and slammed the door behind them. "Nickola. Jordan. Is there a problem? Why are you here?" His dark eyes flashed worriedly.

"No, Dad. We just showed up because the author couldn't think of a better way to get in that quote," answered a tall, thin, brown-haired woman.

"You...what?" Hermione looked at them in confusion.

A shorter woman with long black hair chuckled softly. "Don't listen to Nicki, Mum. You know how she is." Hermione nodded. "We came to say bye before you two go off gallivanting on your anniversary cruise."

"On our what?" asked Severus.

"Anniversary cruise," replied Nicki. "Jorda and I went in together to get you two a good present. Happy fiftieth, Mum, Dad. Enjoy yourselves, and don't get picked off by any Malfoy who happens to be able to afford nice tickets!"

They shared a hearty chuckle at that. The Malfoys had been lucky to escape with a limited sentence in Azkaban, and they had no money left after the War Refund Association had taken what they deemed was reparation for ills caused.

"Now hurry, pack!" exclaimed Jorda excitedly. "You have to be there soon!"

The two women left the couple scurrying around their house, looking for decent clothes to wear on a cruise. As the women rounded a corner, they changed to two males, one with short blond hair, the other with unruly black hair.

"Hey Harry, why'd you have to throw in that slight about my family? It's not my fault I lost the fortune, you know. Besides, we can always live off your fortune. It's enough for ten generations!" The blond turned to face Harry Potter.

"Well, Draco," said Harry, "I don't reckon they would question our identities now, right? No Malfoy would stand a comment like that."

"Unless it would ultimately gain them something, like the disgrace of showing up with counterfeit tickets for a cruise that isn't happening in the middle of a desert."

Harry grinned almost wolfishly. "Or a nice shag from their companion."

"And what if I want a shag from Daddy Severus?" asked Draco Malfoy, still a bit put out.

Harry reached out and crushed his lips against his partner's almost violently. "Don't even joke about that. I could never lose you. I love you," he said, fiercely, angrily.

Draco smiled at him, and then posed a simple question. "Your place or mine?"

With a growl worthy of a grizzly bear, Harry wrapped himself around his lover and Apparated them away to Merlin-only-knows-where.

**

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THE END**

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Doomspark's Page 394 Challenge:

1. Take the nearest five thick books. If you don't have five thick books near you, go to the bookshelf. If you're too lazy to do that, use fewer than five.1a. None of the Harry Potter books are allowed, however. Anyone doing that will have a week's detention with Snape, and it won't be that sort of detention. It will involve scrubbing cauldrons and pickling pig foetuses.  
2. Turn to page 394.  
3. Take the second sentence on that page of each book.  
4. Arrange the sentences to form as coherent a story as possible.  
5. Post your wacky tale in your LJ with these instructions.

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These are the books I used:

Contemporary College Physics Jones, Childers  
Although the story is instructive, it is almost completely untrue.

Biology: Sixth Edition Campbell, Reece  
Bone marrow cells, which include the _stem cells _that give rise to all the cells of the blood and immune system, are prime candidates.

Impossible Odds Dave Duncan  
The family married him off as soon as it was half-decent and hoped that would be the end of it.

Literature and Its Writers Ann Charters and Samuel Charters  
"I love you," he said, fiercely, angrily.

The Bible  
We are your own flesh and blood.


End file.
